The Greatest Name Ever Conceived

Posted on by Asher Sisneros

Over the past couple of years, it has become apparent that our society is deteriorating. However, that shouldn’t be a sign of discouragement. We need happiness and blessings. Recently, depression and suicide rates have been through the roof! The antithesis of depression is happiness. If we’re intent on diminishing depression, what must we do? We must spread happiness and blessings. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s funny we should come to that conclusion. The name “Asher” actually means happy. Therefore, to spread happiness and blessings, we must name more people Asher!

While this might sound like a bogus claim, I have science to back it up. In 2018, Asher ranked as the 47th most popular name in the US. In 2018, the US had a suicide rate of 14.2 per 100,000 people. In 2020, when Asher rose to the 32nd most popular name in the US, suicides dropped to 13.5 per 100,000 people. Clearly, statistics are showing that there is a direct correlation between the name Asher and suicides. This glorious name actually drops the suicide rate!

This is a petition stating the obvious and very subtle fact that Asher is the greatest name to ever be conceived by the human mind. However, I’m not sexist. I’ll grant that Ashley is a close second.

If you agree that Asher and Ashley are the greatest names ever, sign your name on this petition! Spread happiness and blessings! Cheers!

17 thoughts on “The Greatest Name Ever Conceived”

    1. Do you know what the worst name ever is? Answer: William. 😂🤣 Bwahahahaha!!! Just joking, William is a great name. William Wallace, William Shakespeare, and William Wilberforce are just a few of the amazing, influential men throughout history who’ve shared that name.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      5. Wow, that’s a lot of people with the name William! Hey, wait a minute… that means I can call him “Junior.” 🤣😂🤫 Fortunately, I’m the first Asher in my family. Lol

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a reply to Asher Sisneros Cancel reply